Saturday, December 31, 2011

HNY: 2012

" ENJOY A SAFE & HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE, FILLED WITH LOVE !"
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"Sometimes, inappropriate fun is the MOST FUN!..."
BRAVE MEN DO now available in ebook or softcover form. Order yours today !!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

The LEGEND

It'd been EuEarl's idea.
They'd both been pissed at having to work the late routes on Halloween. They'd made prior plans to drive up to Dallas for the annual Halloween block party. Picked out costumes even.
Well, EuEarl had.
Though KC was more than willing to go, he'd had his fill of wearing weird clothes & makeup, after those final years as a rodeo clown, so he was adamant about "... Not wastin' no money nor time on sum dam' fool get up, nor nuthin' !"
As a compromise, EuEarl had agreed to go dressed as a cowboy.
"Then you can be Audie Murphy & I'll be Randolph Scott, with a mustache !", he'd said.
 But , as luck would have it, the butane shipment had been delayed several days thanks to the embargo -" Fuckin' OPEC !"- and each driving team was now playing catchup with customer demand throughout the RTex Butane territory. So, there wouldn't be time, once they'd finally made it back home, to dress AND drive all the way to Dallas before the block party'd be over.  " Shoot !"
Despite his earlier grumbling, KC had been as enthused about their first Halloween Party together as EuEarl had been. And they both felt a bit cheated.
It was during their next to last delivery, out at the Hanly place that they'd gotten the idea.
"Not right t'do this on company time."
"Nope. Still, ol' man Hanly ain't home."
"And I got Q-Bubba's Polaroid still, in my knapsack !"
"Plus, Hanly's tank takes, at least, a good 15 minutes pumpin' !". The two exchanged conspiratorial smirks, then lept into action !
And thus was born The Legend of the Headless RTex Butane Men of Mudflap County !

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"Sometimes, inappropriate fun is the MOST FUN!..."
BRAVE MEN DO now available in ebook or softcover form. Order yours today !!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Foxtail & Wencil

"Think we ought'a drop in on ol' Wencil ?"
It was the end of their workday. EuEarl & KC were headed home after a long day that'd taken them six miles south of Athens & they were both exhausted. Still, it had been a few days since they'd seen the ol' man.
The ''ol' man'' being Wencil Pricket, one of the few  friends they'd made since they'd settled near Euwalla.
"That's 'cause he's a cocksucker like y'all are !!", the townsfolk might've said in an un-guarded moment.
Wencil was certainly known for that particular skill, as well as for a few others, by a number of the male inhabitants of Mudflap County ! A varied & surprisingly high number, as a matter of fact ! Off-the-record, un-officially & in hushed tones, it was common knowledge among the 'Hetero Men's Club' that any horny dude from 18 to 80 with a hard-on could get himself a honey sweet blowjob at Wencil Prickets's  shack anytime, no questions or reciprocations asked !
  In fact, most of the town figured that to be the reason for the Boy's friendly solicitude toward's the old guy. KC & EuEarl had heard the rumours, of course. And although Wencil's shack stood nearly a mile off from the highway, sometimes on their way home, the Boys would notice the odd pickup or somewhat familiar stranger headed toward or leaving Wencil's place. But they themselves had never taken advantage of his 'talents'. From the get go, Wencil had been friendly towards them & never once made a pass or suggestive comment.. He'd never pushed himself on them, in any way. He was merely looking to be a friend & Wencil knew from his own experience that true friends, in Mudflap County, for their kind, weren't exactly thick on the ground . And they were, after all, in the same boat. All three were Out, in their own relative ways, in a town & at a time where being Out wasn't particularly easy. Or safe.
   Every so often Wencil would drop over for a talk, to play cards & occasionally stay for dinner. It was always fun spending time with him. He knew all the town gossip & lore, though he would never share names of his visitors !  It was nice for all three to spend time with someone with whom you could completely let your guard down. And on any other evening, tired or not, KC would have answered "Sure !"
to a detour to Wencil's. But today's route had really been a real bugger of a bear & KC could barely keep his eyes open !
" Would it be wrong'a me if'n I said 'No.' ?", he replied, head tipped back against the seat, his eyes closed.
"Maybe...", EuEarl said." But, I'd be wrong along with ya !" . It was dusk & what little sunlight there was was  quickly fading. As they passed the dirt road that led to Wencil's shack, EuEarl said, "This Friday. We'll have him over for burgers.". KC nodded in silent, grateful agreement, but thought uncomfortably to himself, "Hope the ol' guy's okay. Kind'a hate thinkin' of 'm all old, alone 'n' lonesome.".
 KC needn't have worried, though. For while the "ol' guy" was by himself, at that particular moment, precisely one hour earlier, Wencil Pricket  had been neither alone, lonesome or feelin' anywhere near OLD !!
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"Sometimes, inappropriate fun is the MOST FUN!..."
BRAVE MEN DO now available in ebook or softcover form. Order yours today !!

Friday, September 16, 2011

Blacktop Ballroom

Mid 1970's:
It was a pretty uneventful drive on FM316, so far. It was early morning & there was next to no traffic. Not quite awake enough  for conversation, KC commenced channel surfing. That's how he came upon station KMFP, a few bars into a current Pop hit.
"Leave it there.", EuEarl said, nodding his head.
"Yeah. I like this'n.", KC agreed.
Once the song had finished the DJ piped up. "And that was Sammy Johns' CHEVY VAN. This is KMFP radio. It's a quarter after the hour. Looking for a bargain on a new or used car ?  Visit Vandergriff of Arlington & while you're there, check out the new Cosworth Vega !...Next up we've got Ronstadt's remake of an ol' Vandellas hit HEATWAVE. Ronstadt's gonna be at the Cotton Bowl this weekend ! Be the 10th caller at the top of the Noon hour & win free tickets !...."
KC looked puzzled. " What'za 'Ronstadt' ?"
"Y'mean 'Who' ! She was the gal on Mike Douglas last week. Sang  that Buddy Holly song; remember ?"
KC didn't, but "Oh...".
The deejay continued.'"Also, gonna be spinnin' John Denver's THANK GOD I'M A COUNTRY BOY. Coupl'a oldies comin' up. Freada Wallace LET ME BE YOUR BABY &  Donna Fargo's HAPPIEST GIRL IN THE WHOLE USA , plus PALOMA BLANCA  by an overseas band called the George Baker Selection . That one features a recorder, if any of ya know what that is ! But we'll start the set with the Captain & Tennille &  LOVE WILL KEEP US TOGETHER ... "
Their thoughts & smiles were instantaneous !
"KC, babe...",  EuEarl began.
"Way ahead'a ya, love !" KC interrupted, as he pulled over onto the shoulder of the highway. As KC shifted into Park, cutting off the engine,but carefully leaving the key partially turned in the ignition, EuEarl cranked up the radio ! Both men sprang out of their pickup, looked both ways & seeing that the road was clear, stepped hand in hand out onto the asphalt !
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"Sometimes, inappropriate fun is the MOST FUN!..."
BRAVE MEN DO now available in ebook or softcover form. Order yours today !

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Before KC, II

Though it was only a minute or so after 11AM, EuEarl was already bored & sweaty. It got hot early in the middle of August in New Mexico & though he'd had only 2 customers since 8 o'clock, he felt hot & sticky.
It was 1964. This was not the life he'd planned for himself when he was discharged 9 months earlier from the Service !
"Though, come to think of it", he told himself now, " I don't recall I'd actually planned for anything !"
He'd finished his military hitch, collected his bonus & pretty much gone where ever the wind or the road happened to blow him.
Money was never an issue. His mother had married a fairly successful Mineola banker when he was a child & at 18 he'd begun recieving a regular monthly allowance from the Trust Fund his late father had set up for him. So, almost all of his military pay got socked away into a Savings account at his step-dad's bank. This allow'd EuEarl the luxury of going where he pleased, when he pleased. Since his discharge, he'd lived & occasionally worked, up & down the Pacific Coast. He'd eventually ended up in Gallop, NM  after deciding on a whim, to travel back to Texas, when his car had overheated. The station he'd pull into happened to have a 'Help Wanted'  sign up. Again, on a whim, he applied for the job & got it ! That had been 3 months ago.
A middle-aged woman in a tan Chevy pulled up outside. EuEarl shook himself out of his doldrums & put on his best "You-can-trust-your-car ..." smile ! "Fill her up,please." the woman chirped . "Yes, ma'am.", EuEarl replied. He placed the nozzle in the Chevy's tank receptacle, then proceeded to wipe the front & rear windshields. Just as he'd begun to check the air pressure in her rear tires, another car, dark blue, also drove up. Inside were two men, one white, the other black. They stopped alongside him.
"Hey, 'Gomer'. What's decent to eat around here ?" the white fella asked, after cranking down his window.
" T'eat around here ? Nothing. !" EuEarl replied. He walked up front and tested both front tires. As he finished, the gas pump 'dinged', so he walked  back to disengage the gas nozzle.
The white passenger had been taken aback. Once he was sure EuEarl was within hearing range, he said, as his black companion smirked." 'Nothing ?' So wha'd'you do for food, then, buddy ? Eat exhaust ?".
"Personally, sir, I eat all kinds'a things !... That'll be $4.80, ma'am !". EuEarl removed the nozzle & placed it back on the pump. He took the five dollar bill from the woman's hand, reached into his pocket & gave her  two dimes. "Thanks, ma'am. Come again."
"Look, buddy, ya gonna tell us where there's a restaurant or not ? "
The black fellow leaned over & spoke directly to EuEarl. " Excuse my friend, mister. He's mighty hungry & it's  made him forget his manners." "Marcus !...", his friend began to protest, but Marcus shushed him.
"Ain't that so, Boz ?!"
EuEarl took a quick, but thorough look inside the car at the two men, then walked over 'til he was barely a foot away from  the passenger door."Hunger can have that effect, alright ! 'Specially a 'mighty' one ! "
"You bet.", Marcus replied & nudged his pal. The bulb in Boz's attic lit up !
Boz smiled. " Sorry, man. No offense intended."
"None taken...Boz.... Fact is, I know a great place to take on your appetites ! You guys come back in an hour & I'll take ya there." Both men nodded in agreement. " Good. Now, if ya go down to the next light & turn right , a half block down on your left you'll see Florita's Bar 'n' Grill . Terrific food. Big portions & cold beer ! Only don't fill up. You're gonna wanna save some room ."
60 minutes later, after his relief guy had punched in,  EuEarl handed over his work keys & name badge.
"My brothers are in town. I'll drop off my uniform tomorrow. It's been fun..." Before walking  towards the door & climbing into the dark blue Plymouth waiting outside, which contained his two new friends, EuEarl added, "...But I quit !"

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"Sometimes, inappropriate fun is the MOST FUN!..."
BRAVE MEN DO now available in ebook or softcover form. Order yours today !

Monday, September 5, 2011

Cruisin' Down The Backroads !

"HAPPY LABOR DAY, Y'ALL !!"


"Sometimes, inappropriate fun is the MOST FUN!..."
BRAVE MEN DO now available in ebook or softcover form. Order yours today !

Monday, August 22, 2011

THORNEE INN

Moments like this were like Gold to EuEarl .
   They'd started taking their usual Sunday drives again, now that the Oil Embargo was over, and had decided to visit Wise County. The old Thornee Inn, which had been operating since the late 30's, had been closed & everything was on sale.
"Might find us some nice, cheap furnishin's !", KC had said.
"Nice maybe," EuEarl had responded, smiling."But hardly cheap. That's Runaway Bay Country !!"
The Thornee Inn had been a popular , though small, hotel for years & was still in very good condition .If not a 4 star establishment, it had certainly ranked above a 2 for most of it's existence ! But the opening of the new highway, plus DFW Airport, had sent reservations plummeting in the past year or so.
There hadn't been a lot of "furnishin's" left to choose from, by the time they'd got there, as the sale had started the previous Friday, but KC was thrilled just to walk through the building. EuEarl smiled inwardly at how impressed KC was with the place. "I loved pret' near everythang 'bout rodeoin',", KC said, "But I'd'a liked, just once, stayin' in a place like this 'stead my lil ol' Teardrop Camper !" .
  But what had really charmed KC & brought forward his inner kid, was an alcove, off the main hallway, where several milk crates  filled with old LPs had been stored ! Like a child on Christmas morning, KC had swooped down on them & tore through the various crates !
"Look'a these, EuEarl ! Sarah Vaughan, Frankie Lane, Rosemary Clooney, the Four Aces ! Here's a Nat 'King' Cole ! Don Cornell &....Lookit this'n ! GOGI GRANT !! I near 'bouts f'got about her ! They us'ta play "WAYWARD WIND" on the radio all'a time back when I first started cowboyin' ! And lookey here. They's only $5 a crate !!" "
"Those have gotta be over twenty years old, babe ! They're probably pretty scratched up !"
KC was undaunted. "That don't matter. We'll have the covers, at least !"
EuEarl rifled through his wallet for a bit, then, assured they could cover it, said," I didn't know you liked Classic Pop, KC. You're usually tuned to Porter Wagoner, Kitty Wells & those Grand Old Op'ry kinda stations." KC had stacked three crates atop one another & was attempting to lift them. EuEarl tapped him on the shoulder, shook his head & lifted the top two crates himself. " Don'cha like Country/Western no more ?"
"Sure I do ! But I ain't just likin'one thang all'a time !"
That was the Gold Moment ! That Pure KC way his Cowboy Man had of expressing himself & the joy he could find in so many things that EuEarl himself , somewhat cynically, often took in his stride.And he'd be reminded, as if he ever needed reminding, just why he was so in Love with his guy !
It made for a Perfect Day ! And to think, initially, EuEarl hadn't even wanted to go down Thornee road...
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"Sometimes, inappropriate fun is the MOST FUN!..."
BRAVE MEN DO now available in ebook or softcover form. Order yours today !! .