Miles Out From Dearborn

Bob had been glancing down at his gas gauge regularly for the past 40 minutes since the slender red arrow on the gauge had hit 'E' . Their journey had begun at dawn, tank full, in Toronto. Tecumseh had wanted to do a straight shot to Dearborn, but Bob had other commitments first. Bob knew it would be a long time before he ever set foot in Canada again & there were certain "goodbyes" to be made before he left. He'd spoken to his little son & daughter by phone briefly the night before, which had been as difficult as he'd expected it to be, despite the fact that he hadn't lived at home with them in over 6 months. Detouring from their planned route the next morning, they drove to Guelph, Bob's home town, to see his parents . That, too, had been awkward & strained, as Bob's parents were both well aware of Bob's current circumstances, the most obvious example of which could be seen plainly from the front window, leaning against the passenger side door of Bob's car. Then afterward, incredibly to Tecumseh, Bob had insisted on visiting the Church of Our Lady Immaculate in Guelph . "Just wanna hug an old friend goodbye.", Bob had said. Once again, Tecumseh had waited in the car, having little use for places of worship. He had begun to feel a bit impatient with Bob, but he kept quiet about it.  Unlike himself, he knew Bob had many strong ties to his home, family & community, all currently stretched thin. So, Tecumseh wanted to make this tough transition as simple as possible for him.

It wasn't very long, a mere 10 minutes or so, before the Bob & Cumseh New Road Ahead Show pulled out from the parking lot of Our Lady, motoring joyfully on it's way ! Now, several hours later, both men, like Bob's car , were tired & in need of a fill up !

"There's a station a mile up ahead", Bob said, referencing the sign they'd just past. "I'm gonna stop; okay ?"

Tecumseh, who was laid out on the front passenger seat , with his head resting on Bob's right thigh, replied without opening his eyes, " Sounds like a winner to me !"

Soon Bob was pulling his beloved finned & heavily chromed, blue '59 Plymouth along side an available gas pump. As he reached for the door handle, he heard Tecumseh pipe up, "I'll pump while you pay, babe !" . Tecumseh scooted over to exit on Bob's side & added, " Say, get me somethin' to snack on. Chips & a soda or something !"

"They might have hot dogs, too.", Bob said.

"Naw !", Tecumseh called after him. "Some snacks'll tied me over. I'd rather have a proper meal once we hit Dearborn."

"Okay ! Pump $20, Cumseh !"

It took very little time to fill the car's tank, so once done, he decided to make a pit stop in the station's mensroom .

Bob had paid for the gas first, so he could take his time to browse through the snack aisles. He picked up a couple of bags of  Cheez Jeez & tried unsuccessfully to ignore the cupcake rack. "I could do extra crunches tonight.", Bob thought to himself. "Nawwww !" Grabbing a soda from the cooler, Bob stepped  in line behind two other customers. Just ahead of him was a young man, early twenties from Bob's estimation, wearing an undershirt & hip hugging jeans. The young man's physique," Rather like Mark Spitz's !" , Bob thought, was exceptional. And the tight blue jeans not only hugged, but concisely  split & enhanced the young man's Nature given assets ! Now, Bob was relatively new to being comfortable & in touch with his same-sex urges. In the short space of time from their initial meeting, Tecumseh had almost literally blown the doors off  Bob's inhibitions, sexually or otherwise. Though he still knew to behave publicly with discretion, it didn't seem either wrong or obvious of him to take in & appreciate the beautiful vision Fate had placed ahead of him.  "Hot piece of ass !", Bob thought, as he discreetly adjusted his burgeoning crotch , " But he's got nothing on my Cumseh !" Stepping up to the counter once the young man had stepped away, Bob placed his items on the counter & looked up at the security mirror above & behind the counter." I need to comb my hair.", he thought.

Outside, Tecumseh was rounding the corner, having left the mensroom, when he just missed being run into by a young man, obviously pre-occupied."Whoa !! Sorry there, little man ! Didn't see ya there !" 

Tecumseh bristled at the "little man" comment, but tamped down his annoyance. "Forget it.", Tecumseh said & started on his way, only to be held back by the young man's hand on his shoulder. " Say, be on your guard. There's a faggot inside !"

"Just a second, please."  Bob smiled at the old gentleman behind the counter. "Those Hostess cupcakes are calling to me !!"

"Yeah. I'm standin' in line waitin' & I see this queer behind me, in the mirror, groovin' on my ass!"

Tecumseh stood silently, his face perfectly masking the growing anger behind it.

The young guy continued, " That muther-fucker was poppin' a fuckin' woodie tryin' to crawl up my asshole ! Fucker was droolin' like Liberace at a Boy Scouts Rally !" He laughed derisively ! " So, watch out little man. He might take ya for a little boy & y'know them faggots love 'em some sweet baby boy bootie !"

Tecumseh's hands had tightened into balled fists ! As he stared up into the still laughing young man's face, he stated quietly, "Not all of us. ". With lightening speed, his right arm drew back, then sprang forward, landing a rock solid, crushing blow to the young man's crotch ! The young man's face turned a deep burgundy as he doubled over, falling to his knees. Then, before hitting the ground, the contents of his stomach began to spew from his mouth onto the blacktop ! 

Glowering over the incapacitated youngster, Tecumseh sneered, " For instance, this big ol' Najavi faggot grooves on MAN Ass !!"

The cashier was counting out Bob's change, when the entry door suddenly banged opened ! It was Cumseh ! "  Bob ! Let's go ! NOW !!"

"Just baggin' up my...", Bob began, but Tecumseh had already stormed off ! Bob hadn't known Tecumseh long, but he realized immediately that Cumseh was serious, angry &, Bob was completely convinced, very likely to leave without him if he didn't follow ASAP ! Bob scooped up his newly bought chips, leaving the rest of his purchases on the counter. Once outside, Bob quickly spied the young stud he'd earlier been admiring writhing on the ground. "What the... Cumseh ? Cumseh ?!". Bob sprinted over the heaving homo-phobe.

"TECUMSEH !?!"

.......................................

"Sometimes, inappropriate fun is the MOST FUN!..."

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A Visit Is Announced

"UNCLES !"

 The large red Polara had just come screeching to a sudden halt, sending up a cloud of dust & gravel, before it's occupant yelled out for the second time, "UNCLES !!"

EuEarl looked up briefly from what he was doing in the direction of his partner KC, who'd been pushing the hand mower. "There's our boy !",  he quipped, followed by a quick wink, as he then resumed his work. EuEarl was installing a new blower wheel on their outdoor generator. Living smack in the middle of the Flat, miles away from Euwalla, the nearest town, the sole powerline to their home was often apt to go down after a big storm. And an early experience had shown that they would likely be last on the utility lineman's repair & service list, too. So, they'd bought a discounted generator at a flea market in Tahopke. Since then, EuEarl had made it his solemn mission to keep their back up power supply in good working condition via regular maintenance &, when finances permitted, upgrades ! Luckily, EuEarl had more than average knowledge of most any kind of motorized machinery, thanks to his 4 year 'mentorship' with Uncle Sam. " I'm not much of a soldier, but I am one terrific Mr. Fixit ! ", he would often say.  

"How's my fav'rite uncles this fine day ?", asked Q-Bubba, bounding towards them both. 

"Jest fine !", KC responded, genuinely pleased by his nephew's visit. He was also genuinely pleased to have an excuse for a quick break ! Although there wasn't much grass on the Flat this early in the Spring, what there was was already quite high, particularly around the generator. It was too early for snakes, but he'd hated the idea of EuEarl squatting in the high weeds, all the same. KC had only intended to do the immediate area around the generator, but once he'd begun, it simply made sense to continue on. He'd already finished the back yard & was debating starting on the front when Q-Bubba drove up !  

Q-Bubba gave KC a big bear hug. " Don't go huggin' me, son.", KC protested. "I smell like ol' field hand ! "

"So ?", Q-Bubba laughed, "Ya ain't findin' me smellin' of roses, are ya ?"

"No, but I sure am hearin' bees a'buzzin' in yer head, ya fool boy.", KC tried to sound stern, but his broad smile undercut his intent. Q-Bubba gave him a quick peck on the cheek, then released him. He then scooted over to EuEarl & leaning forward, applied a similarly strong & heartfelt embrace. " You smellin' roses on me,  Unc ?"

In the middle of tightening a lug nut, EuEarl held fast to the wrench in his left hand & with his right arm, he gave Q-Bubba a backhanded jiffy squeeze. "You are buzzy, but nope. I don't smell roses on ya. Just youth , with a slight whiff of your last trick's cologne, I think !"

Q-Bubba roared out loud. "Awww, Uncle, I swear ! You say 'bout anythang !" He slapped EuEarl gently on his back, kissed his cheek as he had KC's, then stood and leaned against the generator shed. "That's some Hai Karate ol' Doryl gimme on Christmas. BJ likes the smell on me ! Kind'a gets to 'im !"

Having met BJ , a Swedish exchange student who's actual name was Bjorn, EuEarl attributed this last statement to wishful thinking on his nephew's part. " Poor kid's so smack dab in love with that freezer pop !", he said to himself, but out loud & somewhat sardonically,

 " Just be careful how you use it !"

KC had walked over to the back porch t& retrieved a soda from the cooler setting there. He tossed it to Q-Bubbba. "So, what's brung ya out this way, boy ? Weren't 'spectin' t'see ya 'til the weekend !"

Q-Bubba twisted off the bottle cap & took several full gulps of  it's contents." Me & BJ is goin' rollerskatin' over in Denton tomorrow night after class & I wanna wear muh fancy banlon shirt. Y' know, the one with Iggy Pop & Jerry Reed on it ! "

EuEarl chuckled quietly to himself ! It tickled him to realize that, not quite in his mid 30's, he was already on the opposite side of the Generation Gap !

"I figured I'd pick it on up today !"

KC nodded. "Well, it's hangin' in yer closet, along with yer other duds !"

"Suh-WEET !", Q-Bubba exclaimed. For the next half hour, as EuEarl worked intermittantly installing the blow wheel, the three chatted & caught up. Q-Bubba brought them up to date on his latest courses. He attended Allenvale University, a small, yet prestigious college, that often gave it's nearby rival SMU a run for the money both scholastically & athletically ! EuEarl, though a high school graduate, had enlisted within weeks of his own Graduation & KC had only gotten as far as a single semester of 9th Grade before dropping out. They were both very proud of their nephew, who had worked hard for years to earn the grades & the money that attending Allenvale U. would require ! He was now in his Freshman year & fully immersed in the college  experience.

Quentin Bubba McClintock had officially come into their lives when he was 10 years old. At age 7, he had been taken in by Miss Eula, who had also played the role of benefactress, as well as dear friend, to both KC & EuEarl individually & then later, after bringing them together on that hot July wedding day ! Once she'd introduced them to young Quentin as "Uncle Earl" & "Uncle KC" their titles & roles were permanantly struck. At first, KC & EuEarl had expressed some misgivings at becoming a young boy's male role models, but Miss Eula's answer to this was, "You're Perfect Role Models, so that's settled . ". And it wasn't long before they'd both fallen in love with the little guy. Dropping him off at school, taking him to games or the amusement parks,celebrating birthdays & holidays... it was like re-living their own childhoods, as they wished they had been. In time Miss Eula, well into her 90's , died, a mere 3 weeks after Q-Bubba had finished 9th grade. Though she'd left a Will clearly stating her wishes, it had been immediately contested by a distant relative. The day following her funeral, Q-Bubba moved in with his Uncles EuEarl & KC .

While many in the town raised an eyebrow & whispered amongst themselves, for the most part, no one interfered with them. Miss Eula had cast a wide cloak of protection over them that evidently extended even beyond the grave. 

( Although, there was the one incident. That following school year, sometime around Homecoming, a senior on the track team had sneered , " I hear there's a coupl'a queers at your house."  Just before punctuating his words with a fist to the kid's nose, Q-Bubba had corrected, "Yer wrong there, friend. At my house, there's three queers !"  Ka-POW ! He'd grabbed the guy by the jersey & helped him up. "You can call me whatever ya want, whenever ya want, if ya think it wise, but don't even think about bad mouthin' my uncles to me, never, y'hear ?!"

The senior heard, as did everybody else that day.  And while his actions landed him a week's suspension. it never-the-less made the point to everyone, students & faculty alike, that whatever Quentin Bubba McClintock was, he was not a pussy ! And from that point on, at his own insistence, he was known as 'Q-Bubba'.  )

Eventually the conversation returned to the Iggy Pop/Jerry Reed shirt that he'd come for & Q-Bubba bolted towards the house, then stopped dead ! 

"Oops ! Nearly forgot !" 

He turned on his booted heels, ran over to the passenger side of his car & reached into the glove compartment ! Finding what he was after, he returned & as he passed KC he said, "This was in the post box !",& he frisbeed the postcard to KC ! " Hey, Uncle Earl, I wanted t'ask ya...."

KC stared at the twin race flags pictured on the front for a bit, before turning it over. On the back, a printed caption at the top read,

"Speedway, Indiana. Home of the Indianapolis 500 !"

and underneath, in small cursive script, was written,  

" Heading your way, with news ! Tecumseh"

As EuEarl & Q-Bubba obliviously carried on with their conversation, in KC's mind, two words kept repeating over & over & over again,

"DWARF FUCKED"

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"Sometimes, inappropriate fun is the MOST FUN!..."


BRAVE MEN DO now available in ebook or softcover form. Order yours today !!

A Frolic, Some Frottage & Flowers

"That was just fuckin' fantastic !", he cried out loud afterwards, saliva spilling from the corners of his mouth .
" And that's nothin' ! Just wait'll I plug one of your orifices !", came his lover's reply.
"So, why wait ? I'm never gonna be more ready than I am right now !".
"  Ready 'right now', are ya ?"
"R-A-T, Right Now !", he growled from deep in his throat. "Here amongst the tall greenery, yet !"
His horny companion considered, then said, "I'm tempted, buddy, but I might fuck a bug or a wildflower up inside your ass & how would that be for a first time, huh ?! "
Both men laughed loudly in unison for awhile, then locking eyes, Bob, the taller of the two, spoke solemnly, " I love you, Cumseh.  So much... I just... I just love you like...like  crazy. I don't know how to describe it. ..." 
"And you a newscaster, too."
Bob smiled. " 'Sportscaster' ", he corrected softly. He reached down & pulled his diminutive lover up 'til they were nose-to-nose, then taking his face in his hands, kissed him passionately. As always, Bob's desire, however hotly it burn, rapidly succumbed to Tecumseh's own. ( Tesumseh, indeed, being the full name of the object of his affection. ) After  a deep, soulful & prolonged kiss, Bob found himself too winded to speak, so Tecumseh did.
"I know how much ya love me, Bob. It's the reason I'm here." Tecumseh spread himself out, as far as he could, over as much of Bob's frame as was possible. Cumseh had learned already, that this simple act on his part always calmed  Bob's occasionally troubled waters.  " So, you don't need to tell me... too often.", he smirked.
 Bob smiled back & waited, but, as usual, Tecumseh wasn't forthcoming with more, so he hoisted himself up on his elbows. "Guess we'd better get going, huh ?"
"Yeah. We've got a long drive ahead of us ! Especially in that  land shark of yours !"
This was an in-authentic dig aimed at Bob's '58 Plymouth & recognized as such, still Bob defended his baby ! "That 'land shark', as you call her, will give you the sort'a ride the like of which only a Rolls owner could attest ! " Bob began buttoning the shirt he'd just slipped on. "I'll hav'ta stop by the bank before we head out, though. While I can." Tecumseh nodded. " No worries. Still gotta pack up my things, anyhow."
Bob adjusted himself inside his underwear." I've never been to Texas before. No, wait ! I spent a weekend in Dallas for a Cowboys/Redskins Game a coupl'a years back ! Met Mr.Howard-the Man-Cosell himself !". Bob couldn't help smiling broadly at the memory. Not many local sportscasters, let alone a sportscaster in the Canadian market, had ever met and/or been photographed with Howard Cosell ! " Met Sonny Jurgensen too, later in the locker room. Nice guy. Beefy ass !"
Tecumseh, fully dressed now, laughed. " Somethin' tells me that bit of commentary didn't make it into your evening broadcast that night; am I right ?!"
Bob shook his head. "No.", he giggled. " Maybe it should have, though. The station might've renewed my contract !" Bob suddenly turned serious. "I wish I was coming to ya with more...success, Cumseh."
"Cut that out, Bob !", Cumseh replied severely. " I mean it. No more !" Bob bowed his head & silently zipped up his fly. Their combined silence, though awkward, was brief. Cumseh walked over to Bob, took his hands in his own & pulled him down to his eye level. Cumseh smiled at him. "There's 4 big TV stations in North Texas, Bob. Radio stations, too. You'll land a gig soon, I know it. Just like that !", he finished with a snap of his fingers.
Bob, looking much happier, smiled & gathered his Indian Friend in his arms for a huge hug. "So, Lil Big Fuck, where is this place we're headin' for ? What's it called ?"
"Little town called Euwalla, in Mudflap County, Texas. Got a a friend livin' there now. "
" 'Mudflap County' ? I've heard of Tarrant, Dallas, Gillepsie Counties, but 'Mudflap' ? Uh, uh ." Bob shrugged. " Still, it'll be on the map."
"From what KC's told me about the place, Bob..." Tecumseh said thoughtfully, "I wouldn't bet on it."
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"Sometimes, inappropriate fun is the MOST FUN!..."
BRAVE MEN DO now available in ebook or softcover form. Order yours today !!

Rub the Red Dawgie

 

If there was one thing the boys had in common, it was a love for the water. With the both of them sharing a home & a life out on the dust flats of Texas, they were surrounded by endless dirt, so any chance to be near water, like today, was a special treat ! Of course, EuEarl had lived much of his early childhood in lower Louisiana ( A fact you'd be hard pressed to figure out from the sound of his speech. ) and knew the various bayous, lakes, ponds, rivers & streams like the back of his hand. And later, when he'd gone to live with his mother in Mineola, there were the twice yearly, annual forced weekend trips to Mineral Wells "... for the waters".  KC, as a young boy in Nebraska, lived for those rare moments when he could slip off  by himself to the local streams & creeks. Once he'd even hitched from the family farm in West Greeley County over to Two Rivers for a day of fishing .

" Muh daddy walloped me somethin' fierce onc't I got home after, but it was worth it jest t'spend some lonesome time lakeside !"  KC said smiling, though underneath EuEarl thought he could detect a slight tinge of sadness.

"Guess ya wouldn't find much alone time in a big family, huh ?", EuEarl asked.

" 'Alone' was all I ever found in mine." he laughed, as they came upon a tree along the shore. Changing the subject, he stated, " I learned to rub the red dawgie down by Mirror Creek back home !"

KC, it seemed to EuEarl, was a living host infected with down-home 'term worms', as EuEarl called them & it annoyed him slightly, whenever KC used them. Although he was tempted not to ask, his curiosity got the better of him & he blurted out, " 'Rub the red dawgie' ?!" 

KC grinned slyly. He'd figured rightly, that EuEarl had never heard the phrase before & it gave him a certain satisfaction to demonstrate that he knew something his more educated lover did not, even if it wasn't 'book learned' !

"Ain't ya heard that'n before ? Folks say it all the time back in Greeley !"

"And it means, Smart Ass ...?"

KC guffawed. " Means to stroke yer bone."  

EuEarl laughed out loud, "" All the folks say that, huh ?"

 KC continued. "I was ten almost then, fishin' down on Mirror Creek & I fell asleep with muh pole in the water. While I was sleepin' I had a dream 'bout somethin'. Cain't remember what, but when I woke up, I was hard as a fence post ! Hadn't never had that happen before ! I didn't know what it was or what t'do. Kept  try'n t'squeeze it down. Make it go away. Felt good squeezin' it, but it wouldn't go down, so I quit. I decided to go on home. Figured I was sick or maybe somethin' had crawled up muh leg & bit me. By the time I got home, though, it'd gone back down t'normal. First person I come to was my oldest brother Roy, so I told him what'd happened to me. He laughed & told me what it was I'd had was called a 'hard on'."

EuEarl was an only child. Quickly accessing his memory bank, he realized that he'd never had anyone tell him what an erection was or had needed to. His first time, he'd somehow known instinctively what it was & what to do with it ! Still, he continued to listen to KC's story with amused interest.

"Muh other brother Fenton was listenin' & he run off & told all muh other brothers Lyndell, Leon, Wyatt & Eugene. They all come in & started teasin' me . Ol' Fenton, he said, ' Pret' soon, boy, you'll be rubbin' the red dawgie !' & he pushed me backward on the bed. Then he & Lyndell started yankin' muh jeans down & Fenton said, ' Lookey here, y'all ! KC's dawgie's got a bushy red tail, too !' "

KC stopped a brief moment & stared forward, as if he were actually viewing the scene before his eyes .

" Not even ten & I had this big ol' patch'a red hair down there. I just figured everybody did. Muh brothers, they jest laughed & laughed & laughed. Roy told me later that my face turn't nearly as red as my hair. Pro'bly so. I was as mad as I was 'shamed. I pushed them two boys off'a me, hitched up muh pants & run out the house cryin'. Cain't remember how far or where to. Couldn't'a been too far ... Anyhow, a few months later, whilst I was fishin' on Mirror Creek, I done it ."

EuEarl looked at KC intensely, as if he were studying a page from a textbook. "Why would you wait a few months ?", he thought, but out loud he asked, "Were you the youngest, KC ?"

"Don't matter, do it ?"

"Guess not.", EuEarl agreed. Suddenly, KC turned around & scooped him up in a big, tight hug. He nuzzled his face into the nook between EuEarl's lower neck & collar bone. He then began to kiss his way towards EuEarl's mouth, eventually landing on that sweet & wonderful spot. His tongue dove inside with a forceful grace that Mark Spitz would've envied. 

It was some time before he surfaced !

When he at last pulled back, EuEarl asked, a string of spittle bridging the distance 'tween their faces, "Mister, I believe your dawgie needs walkin' ." EuEarl whirled KC  around, then embraced him from behind. As his left hand tugged at KC's shirt, his right hand passed behind & below his belt buckle. " In fact, I get the feelin' that ol' red dawgie's 'bout to burst !"

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"Sometimes, inappropriate fun is the MOST FUN!..."
BRAVE MEN DO now available in ebook or softcover form. Order yours today !!